i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
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Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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