it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
