I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
