Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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