His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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