Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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