Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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