oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
