South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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