Welp...herpes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
