so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
