i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
