if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
