I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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