you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
