i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
