Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
