Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
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you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
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I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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