Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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