Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
