So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
