i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
