My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
