I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
