This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
