i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You don't make any sense
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