the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
