The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
