So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
