rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
