A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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