And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
