Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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