OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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