i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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