Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
