I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
