I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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