I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
