Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
