When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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