his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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