you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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