i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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