Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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