I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize