Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
