If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
