I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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