what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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