I hope mine doesn't look like that
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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