he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
