question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
