I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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