We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
