im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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