It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
