The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
