Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
