omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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